Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
