I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
