So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
