Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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