We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
