i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
