guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
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