How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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