I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
