Moan for me like Helen Keller
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
