He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I need water and some morals
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
