True but thats because hes a fetus.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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