And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
