Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
