There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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