I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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