We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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