i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I will be naked everywhere
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
