The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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