So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think your dad took our porno
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
