Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
