Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
