CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
