Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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