Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
