Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Girls should come with a carfax report
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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