Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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