my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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