he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
