im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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