Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
