are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
