Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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