I love black thongs
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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