How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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