it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
