I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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