the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
