its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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