Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize