omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
