She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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