Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
