So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
