i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
