I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
