Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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