I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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