yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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