hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My vagina just recognized that song.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize