Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I stole a fireplace last night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
