i permit you to call me
id be glad to
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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