We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
