I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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