so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize