this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
