YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
