That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
