new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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