I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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