So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its about making memories worth repressing
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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