i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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